Why we argue about Sex

Bear in mind that we are talking here about the overall sex drive of all men as one group and all woman as another. Individual sex drives vary from person to person. An individual woman may have a high sex drive and a man may have a low drive, but these are minority case and do not reflect the vast majority. Overall, most men have higher sex drive than most women.

A study at Kinley Institute showed that 37% of men think about sex every 30 minutes. Only 11% of women think of it as often. For a man, a continual high dose of testosterone keeps his drive high and this is why, when it comes to sex, he's ever ready.

When it comes to sex, women
need a reason; men need a place.

The shaded area on the graph are where most men and women argue about sex.

Until her late 30s, a woman will complain that a man constantly puts pressure on her for sex, causing resentment on both sides. She will often accuse him of "using" her. It's not until her late 30s that a woman's sex drive matches a man's sex drive, and often surpasses it. Her drive is nature's way of pushing her into last minute childbearing urges before the onset of menopause. A man in his early 40s can often be caught by surprise by this role reversal. His sex drive maybe lower than a woman's of the same age while her level of assertiveness may be higher. Many men complain about having to "perform on demand". The boot is now on the other foot, so to speak. We recommend you read Good Loving, Great Sex by Dr Rosie King and Mars and Venus In The Bedroom by Dr John Gray. Both books offer excellent techniques and strategies for handling sex drive differences. Most couples don't address these differences and each expects the other to understand their needs, but that's not how nature planned it.

Men and women have different sex drives, and most couples experience different levels of sex drive at different times in their week, month and year. It may be fashionable to suggest that modern men and women are equally interested in sex, or that normal couples are perfectly matched sexually, but that's not the way it is in real life.

Despite what the poets write and the romantics might think, sex drive results from the cocktail of hormone that creates the feeling we call sex drive and love is a combination of chemical and electrical reactions. Those who think that love is all in the mind are partially correct. For women, the psychological factors such as trust, closeness and overall well-being all combine to create the conditions under which the hormone cocktail is released by the brain. Men can release this cocktail anytime, any place.

Studies carried out on American University campuses showed that when an attractive woman approaches a man and asks him to go to bed with her, 75& say yes, whereas no women said yes when approached by an attractive man.

[Source: Why men don't listen and woman can't read maps by Allan + Barbara Pease]