Feeling [B][L][U][E]..

(Only 1 person can understand this entry post, because he was chatting with me!)

2 am, 20th June 2008
I cannot sleep tonight
I have a foolish heart
Why do I feel so angry?
Why do I hate her?
Why? Why? Why?
I really do not wanna do this...

I cannot talk to anyone about it!
What will they do?
Spit at me, laugh at me, step on my dignity, kick me away...

[H][U][R][T]
...for no reason...

At least there's a good news,
When I feel [H][U][R][T],
It means I still love you
When I cannot feel the [P][A][I][N] anymore,
My love will have gone too!

Now I'm scolding myself,
Trying to stop my feeling...
My love is

....................................................................................

..........................................................

.............................

*evaporating*

.............................

..........................................................

....................................................................................

I used to DISLIKE Vanessa Anne Hudgens. My ex used to ask me to be more like her (Trust me, you don't wanna know what he had said to me. I love being myself!). That's why I didn't like her eventhough I hadn't even known her. But now I listen to her songs. I found out she ain't that bad. I esp. like a song called :"When there was me and you". Tonight I listen to it dunno-how-many-times. I cried (silly me!)... It's so true:

"I thought you were my fairy tales

A dream when I'm not sleeping

A wish upon a star is coming true

But now even I can tell

That I confuse my feelings

With the truth

When there was me and you"

I do not how I feel right now. I try to push away all the imaginations. I try to control my feelings. I try to......TRUST/BELIEVE in something which cannot be seen!!!

I'm not a simple person
Cuz I'm Rita

Tonight I cannot sleep
And it will be a long night
...

"When I love a guy, it does not mean that I'm gonna marry him"

-Rita NgKT-